doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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