i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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