oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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