If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize