pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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