I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
