how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
