I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
