hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize