she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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