I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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