you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
