Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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