How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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