Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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