we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
