Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
