Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
