Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
