Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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