i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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