I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
