(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
