4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
