After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
