i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
