I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
