we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
