his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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