youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The air taste purple.
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