i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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