Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
