I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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