I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize