He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
