Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize