i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
