btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
