ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
