I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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