I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he shaved USA in his pubs
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
