aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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