I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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