so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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