I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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