girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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