We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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