How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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