so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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