Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
