she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
