sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
