Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
