i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
