i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
