Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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